Online Dating Myths
Over 40 million Americans use online dating services—40 percent of all singles.

And we’re not just meeting people online—we’re marrying them. Among couples who married in the last three years, 17% of them met online. In 2009, twice as many marriages took place between couples who met online than between couples who met in bars, clubs or other social events combined.

Despite the prevalence of online dating, old myths die hard…

Myths About Online Dating

  1. Online Dating is for ____ People
    Online dating isn’t for people more/less attractive, older/younger, hipper/nerdier than yourself. Online dating is for everyone—it currently represents the largest share of paid content on the Internet.

    If you’re not finding who you’re looking for, try a different service. Some sites are geared toward casual daters, others toward the more committed. There are also niche online dating sites tailored to smokers, farmers, pet owners, doctors and others with specific interests.
     

  2. It’s too Expensive
    There is some cost involved in most online dating sites. The same is true, however, for other ways you might meet people, including barhopping or taking classes.
     
  3. Everyone Lies Online
    Okay, this myth is more or less true—80% of online daters lie about their age, height or weight. But the extent to which people lie about these factors usually isn’t significant—if they plan on ever meeting you, they can only exaggerate so much.

    Since women prioritize income and height when deciding who to date, men may fudge these details. And since men prioritize physical attractiveness, women may be tempted to “enhance” their real weight or age.

    Some people also lie about their marital status. Possible warning signs include no profile photo, exclusive use of free dating sites and unusual communication patterns (only reachable late at night, etc.).
     

  4. There Aren’t Any Men Out There
    Some dating sites are more appealing to men than others. But when you average the top 10 dating sites, the male-female ratio is close to 50-50. (Of course, if 30% of those men are in fact married, that changes things).
     
  5. There’s No One My Age Online
    The average age of online daters varies by site, although it is probably younger than you think. Seniors represent a growing share of the market as well. Again, certain sites appeal to different demographics, including age groups.
     
  6. Online Dating Is Dangerous
    Online dating can be risky. Then again, so can offline dating. Reputable online dating sites provide safeguards to help protect their users. Look for a dating site with a double blind email system. This allows you to get to know prospective mates without having to give out any personal information until you are ready. Below are some additional safety tips:

    Before the Date
    • Don’t include anything in your profile or username that could identify you
    • Set up a third-party email address for the sole purpose of online dating
    • Research prospective dates online for any obvious red flags
    • Block/report anyone who makes you uncomfortable

    On the Date
    • Always meet in a public place
    • Carry your cell phone
    • Tell a friend where you are going; have a designated check-in time
    • Don’t drink too much
    • Keep an eye on your food, drink and belongings
    • Don’t accept a ride from your date
     

  7. No One Is Responding, So Why Bother?
    Dating isn’t a numbers game. Don’t obsess about how many “winks,” “nudges” or emails you get. In fact, having too many options can backfire. You may become so overwhelmed by the possibilities that you never settle on a reality. Or you may pursue every potential date, exhausting yourself. If you aren’t getting much response, ask a friend to take an objective look at your profile, photos, etc. Ask for candid feedback: Are your photos unflattering (or too flattering)? Is your profile both appealing and true to who you are? Don’t be discouraged if you aren’t flooded with emails. If you are looking for a serious relationship, you only need to find one person you really click with.
     
  8. If I Have a Profile, That’s Enough
    Don’t let online dating keep you from pursuing dates through other channels. Get out there and meet people face-to-face.
     
  9. There Are Plenty of Tadpoles in the Pond …
    Sure, there are lots of people out there. But avoid the temptation to constantly prowl for someone “better,” even after you’ve found someone pretty great. Until your relationship status is clear, though, it’s fine to keep your online profile active.
     
  10. It’s All Talk, No Action
    Different people approach relationships at different speeds. And the nature of online dating makes some people unusually cautious. But don’t waste weeks or months chatting with someone without a clear prospect of an in-person date. If you are still interested after a few online exchanges, let the person know you’d like to meet. If he or she puts you off, move on.