Few stories will be retold as often as your proposal. You only get one chance at it. You and your future spouse will be repeating the story for the rest of your lives. That’s a great deal of pressure.

Some guys go all out with a big spectacle at a sporting event or some other public place. Others choose a more subtle approach like making dinner at home and proposing during the meal.

There is not a right or wrong way for everyone. Don’t try to do what someone else did or try to upstage someone else. Instead, focus on your relationship. Like most gifts, she probably cares far more about the thought than the cost. It doesn’t matter how expensive or how much of a production you make as much as it matters that your proposal reflects her, how you feel about her, and your relationship in general.

The sports proposal makes sense if you enjoy going to games together or if your first date was to a game. But if she doesn’t care much for sports, you might want steer clear of the stadium.

Make it personal

You know her better than anyone, so hopefully you know what she likes and wants. You might try to incorporate something special about your relationship such as a place you like to go together or the restaurant you went to on your first date.

If your future bride prefers quiet, relaxing evenings, a big, public show may not be the best choice. But if she is more outgoing and would enjoy the attention, that might be the perfect option.

If you naturally are creative, go all out. A computer game developer recently proposed to his girlfriend by creating a video game of their story together. A video editor made a movie trailer proposal and rented out a theater for a special screening. Others have led their intended on a scavenger hunt through town or through different places that have been significant in their relationship.

Consider whether you think she would like her friends or family to witness the proposal or whether she would prefer a more private event. If she is close with her family, it might be nice to give them a role.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

If you’re stumped, you might consider asking her sister or best friend for advice on some of the details of your planned proposal. Your future fiancé may already have an idea of how she wants to be proposed to, and it might be nice to include some of those details.

But be cautious before you ask for help. If you’re trying to keep it a surprise, the more people who know your plans make it more likely that your girlfriend will find out.

Too many people in the know also could lead to you getting too much advice. Hopefully you know her and your relationship better than anyone else. A friend or family member may have known what she wanted in a proposal years ago, but those ideas may have changed since you have been together.

Whatever you choose to do, keep it fun, and don’t worry if every detail doesn’t work out just like you planned. You will have plenty of time to worry and sweat out every detail after the proposal and as you start putting together the wedding and the rest of your lives together.