Ante It Up in 2010
2009 has come and gone. If you are like many adults you have probably looked at a calendar and thought to yourself, “How is it already 2010?” With that in mind, January is always a good time for retrospection as well as a time to set goals for the coming year.
Traditionally, New Year’s resolutions revolve around health-oriented goals such as losing weight, exercising or not smoking. Occasionally, we might throw in a financial goal (save money for XYZ) or plan a career change. But, how many of us in exclusive relationships take the time to think about how to keep our relationships alive and well in the New Year. Sure, we might say, “I’m going to spend more time with insert partner’s name here,” but how well do we really plan to up the ante in our relationships?
As you take a moment to reflect on 2009, don’t just remember what you did wrong (or didn’t do at all) with your significant other, but instead make an effort to pat yourself on the back for what you did right. Let’s think it through...
- You made your partner a wonderful birthday dinner and even baked a cake.
- You took care of your partner’s dog/cat while he/she was out of town.
- You accompanied your partner to the wedding of his/her second cousin (twice removed).
- You met your partner’s parents and didn’t do anything extraordinarily embarrassing in the process.
Good job! You should be quite pleased with yourself. Now, let’s get back to the question at hand. How are you going to up the relationship ante in 2010? Here’s a thought: Don’t let your relationship get stale and predictable. Make plans now to wow your partner throughout the coming year. Here are some ideas:
Surprise!
If you and your partner have a standing Friday night date, plan a surprise instead. For example, purchase concert tickets for a favorite band. Take charge that night, insist on driving and then tell your partner that you have a surprise and you’re on your way to see his/her favorite band.
The power of touch.
This is not an endorsement for public displays of affection, but when was the last time you simply walked up to your partner and kissed him/her on the cheek? This is meant to be in an affectionate way, not sexual. There is a difference. The next time you are sitting in the car or standing in line at the theater, simply reach over and take their hand, rub or pat them on the back. The gesture will be noticed and appreciated.
Take up a hobby or set a goal together.
Find an activity that you will both enjoy. It might be that you both love to refurnish furniture. This can be turned into a great time at flea markets, yard sales and estate sales in search of the next great project. Another option is training for a marathon or taking cooking classes together. Finding something that you both enjoy will help strengthen your relationship and add an element of fun to the upcoming year.
Back to gender basics.
Without being stereotypical, it never hurts to be reminded of what simple acts can really fire up your partner:
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What makes a man feel good:
- Flirt with him in public
- Lavish him with compliments
- Tell him how sexy he is
- Act jealous once in awhile, even if you aren’t
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Just once, leave the toilet lid up
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What makes a woman feel good:
- Tell her how beautiful/sexy she is
- Compliment her on her talents/skills (be specific)
- Tell her how much she means to you
- Show her affection in front of family/friends (but don’t be overly zealous or disrespectful)
- Just once, leave the toilet seat down
In conclusion, don’t dwell on the shortcomings of 2009; celebrate the great things instead. As you go forward, make creative use of the days and months ahead so you can look back on 2010 with great satisfaction and hopefully find a satisfied, happy partner by your side.
