Does your marriage have what it takes to make it to your golden anniversary (50 years) and beyond?
Most married couples today celebrating 50 or more years of marriage come from what is called “The Greatest Generation.” This generation grew up during the hardship of the Great Depression; many later served in World War II. These individuals have witnessed some of the greatest technological feats ever: space travel, television, computers, cell phones and the Internet. But their record of long-lasting marriages is perhaps the most impressive feat of all. In terms of relationship longevity, couples from this generation are indeed our “greatest” living examples.
What can we learn from happily-married couples from this generation? A lot. Below are some pearls of wisdom, drawn from a sit-down with real couples married 50, 60 or 70 or more years. When asked what helped their marriage go the distance, several recurring themes emerged…
Common factor #1: Marry your best friend
Today, we call it “compatibility.” But our older counterparts call it “marrying your best friend.”
"Dick has been my best friend since I was 14 years old and we eloped when we were still in high school (which we wouldn’t recommend). We’ve been married for over 71 years and I can tell you, once the passion is gone—even though with us it’s never really left—but if you don’t have a friendship you don’t have much to work with."
– Edna about Dick (pictured above), her husband of 71 years
"We’ve been married for close to 65 years and we have so much fun. I truly love him but what’s more—I really, really like him! He’s my very best friend!"
– Anita about Jesse, her husband of nearly 65 years
"She is my best friend. Even through the difficult seasons of our marriage, I still have the best time with her and I always will."
– Jack about Elaine, his wife of 57 years
Common factor #2: You have to work it out
Nowadays, we call it “communication skills.” But this older generation cuts to the chase about making a relationship work:
"When we have a problem we sit down and talk about it. He listens while I talk and explain, and then I listen. There’s usually compromise involved. But it’s no big deal, we just work it out."
– Angie about Ben, married to 51 years
"I remember to this day what the preacher said to us on the day we got married. ‘There may be days you think about killin’ each other but you’ve got to work through it; never, ever consider divorce!’ And it worked. Bill and I have been married for 57 years."
– Sybil about Bill, her husband of 57 years
Common factor #3: Be financially sound
Finances can be a point of contention in a marriage; many people—whether married or single—could learn a thing or two from these folks:
"We didn’t have anything growing up. So when we got married we saved for what we needed, not for what we wanted. If we needed a car, we paid cash. If we needed a washer—we paid cash. The only thing we ever bought on ‘time’ was our house and we paid it off in two years."
– Dick and Edna, married 71 years
"If you don’t save together, then you will wind up with nothing."
– Shirley and Bill, married 58 years
"We were both raised awfully poor but we were determined to do better. Elaine and I have worked hard over the past 50 some odd years. We both worked at the same places—Elaine at the bank, me at the gas company—and we retired from there. We saved and paid cash for everything… never used credit. I like to call us thrifty!"
– Jack and Elaine, married 57 years
Some of the wisest words can be found in the older couples around us. If you are fortunate enough to still have living grandparents or other older married friends and relatives, spend time with them to find out their secrets to a lasting marriage. Draw from their years of experience to help you and your spouse reach your own golden anniversary together.