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Coming Down from the Wedding High


Coming Down from the Wedding HighLet’s face it. Much of your life while you were an engaged couple was spent planning for your wedding day. For some couples, months and even years of preparation led to that one very special day. It can be challenging to shift gears into the next phase of your life together. The following tips will help you beat the post-wedding day blues.

You are no longer in the spotlight.

It’s true… you were the center of attention on your special day. Everyone commented on how you looked, all eyes were on you for your first dance, and you modeled for many photos. Since not every day is like that, it is normal to miss all the special attention you received. Focus on getting back into a normal routine. If you miss the planning activities, offer to help friends or family members who are newly engaged. After all, your wedding to-do’s are likely still fresh in your mind; certainly you can help another couple through the process!  Alternatively, you can put your planning energy into getting your house settled or creating a household budget.

What’s next? 

Now that you’re married, family and friends may ask when you are going to buy a house or have kids. While these are all wonderful things it is important to invest time in becoming a married couple. Even if you were living together before you got married, you will find that things change. Your commitment to and responsibility for each other (and each other’s family) has increased. You need to learn to manage that as a couple. Enjoy married life!  Talk with each other about what is next and always keep open lines of communication in your marriage.

You don’t know what to do with your time.

You’ve probably been spending so much time on wedding preparations, that you’ve forgotten that there is more to life!  Pick up a new hobby, or revisit one that has taken a backseat in the months preceding your wedding. Relax and enjoy your time, free of meeting with wedding vendors and working toward preparation deadlines. Believe it or not, many couples can drift apart while they are engaged because dates are filled with discussions about the wedding and less time is spent just having fun together. To ensure that your marriage stays fresh and exciting, make sure you schedule regular date nights together where you have fun – no “business” meetings.

What does marriage mean to me? 

It’s not often easy to transition into marriage. You may be used to thinking of yourself, making your own decisions and pursuing your own endeavors. What happens in your spouse’s life, whether it be family-related, career-related, etc. will have a direct impact on your life. Likewise, the decisions you make from here forward will impact both of you. If you didn’t go through a premarital preparation class, consider taking a marital education class to get you both on the right track.

It is OK to ask for help.

One in ten new spouses is afflicted with post-wedding depression. Let your partner know that you are feeling down since the wedding; ask for his understanding and let him know what thoughts are troubling you. Sharing your true feelings and building a safe relationship where you can talk openly and listen to one another are important for a healthy marriage. While it’s normal to feel a bit blue once the celebration is over, if you have intense feelings of upset or your depression lasts an extended period of time, or gets worse, seek help from a mental health professional.

It’s normal to feel a bit down after the wedding and honeymoon are over. It was a special time that you will have in your memory forever!  Enjoy this new phase; relax with your new spouse, pick up a hobby and look forward to the next phase in your lives together.

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