Friendship is a huge part of any successful romantic relationship. In fact, when you are looking for a potential partner, you should seek the qualities that also make someone a good friend: support, loyalty, understanding and similar values and interests. If your friend possesses the qualities you are looking for in a mate, you may be considering a dating relationship with him/her. Before taking the plunge to declare your feelings, it may be helpful to carefully reflect on the following questions.

What are these feelings all about?

It is very easy to start to feel attracted to someone with whom you spend a lot of time—especially when the time is really enjoyable or when you are sharing a lot of yourself. Take plenty of time to consider what you find to be attractive about this person and how you feel about them. Have you always felt this way, or is this something new? Make sure your feelings aren’t simply the result of a recent breakup, loneliness, physical attractiveness or jealousy (if for instance, your friend is interested in someone else). If you feel as though your compatibility is at more than just a friendship level, you may have something on which to build.

Is the interest mutual?

Moving from a friendship to a dating relationship should be a relatively natural shift if both parties are interested. Take some time to feel out the situation. It is usually relatively easy to pick up on feelings coming from someone with whom you are close. It is risky to announce your feelings without having a vague idea whether he/she feels the same way. If he/she thinks of you like a sister/brother or talks about other love interests, chances are he/she doesn’t feel the same way you do. In this case, it might be best to remain friends. But if there does seem to be some mutual interest, it is very important to talk about what the relationship means to each of you and what you hope to learn or experience by dating. It is best to talk about your concerns with your friend before pursuing the relationship and how you will proceed if things don’t work out as you had hoped.

How does the relationship move forward?

If you decide to date, it is critically important to talk about how to be intentional with your decisions in the relationship and how to pace the relationship so you don’t progress faster than the emotional, physical or commitment side of the relationship can handle. It will take some adjusting, but it’s important to move from friendly outings to treating your friend like a boyfriend/girlfriend. Go out on romantic dates, take some short trips together and spend more time truly learning about each other. Check in with each other regularly to ensure that your relationship is moving forward at a pace that is comfortable for both of you.

What if it doesn’t work out?

Unfortunately, it is difficult, if not impossible for some, to go back to just a friendship once you have dated. Often, at least one person will still have romantic feelings for the other which creates a fairly awkward space for the relationship. For some friends, however, dating for a while can provide both individuals the experience they need to know that their relationship works better as a friendship. Hopefully both of you will handle this situation maturely and rebuild the friendship to a place that honors each of your needs.

If you are considering a friend as something more, this is a good time to do some soul searching. Consider whether or not your friend may feel the same way and if the potential benefits are worth the potential risks. If you have thought through the questions above and have decided that a relationship is worth pursuing, then go for it! You may find that a very successful and exciting relationship is awaiting you.