Too Good to Be True?
Dating is a time for two people to get to know each other. This is an opportunity to learn about each other and discover what you have in common or if you are compatible. This requires honesty and sincerity. On a date people want to be their best – you typically dress up, go someplace special and talk about your goals or expectations – but you have to be cautious and decipher whether the other person is being truthful or telling you want you want to hear. The following characteristics are things to watch for:
Your date is very self-flattering. It’s definitely normal for a date to want to show you their best attributes. But if your date constantly flaunts their educational and professional success, their humanitarianism, how attractive they are, or how much money they have… be wary. He/she could be exceptionally good at presenting themselves and deceiving you into thinking they are something they are not.
Your date makes excessive or huge promises. If your date promises to take you on extravagant trips, buy you expensive jewelry, marry you, or nothing short of writing you into their will, be concerned. These are not normal things to promise in a casual or new dating relationship. Smaller commitments will unveil themselves with time and you will see what your date follows through on.
Your date wants to rush the “romance.” Be apprehensive if every conversation seems to end with a solicitation to get physical with you. Don’t let even the most convincing flirtations rush you into something you are not ready for. If this person wants to get to know you for you and is seeking a serious committed relationship, he/she can be patient.
Your date has recently ended a serious relationship. Even if he/she constantly compares you to his/her ex by saying things such as, “I love that you’re nothing like my ex,” or “My ex never enjoyed the same things I do, but you and I have so much in common,” be cautious. Although these statements may seem flattering, the fact that he/she is bringing up the ex so frequently is an indication that there is serious baggage. Despite what they may say, he/she may not be ready to move on to a relationship with you.
Getting to know someone at an intimate level is difficult. People communicate in different ways and some people are more open than others. Since every situation is different, the best thing to do is follow your instincts. If you are naturally a trusting person, you may want to intentionally slow things down and find out what holds true over time. A person’s true character is difficult to hide for an extended amount of time. If your nature is to be a skeptic, don’t sell yourself short and assume he/she is too good to be true. Use your time together to learn about each other – meet one another’s friends, family and colleagues. Listen to your friends and family: they know you well and can help you judge the potential in this relationship.
Dating isn’t always easy. Know yourself and what you are looking for. Be cautious with your heart by investing time getting to know someone before getting into a serious relationship. If you have just met someone take time to get to know him/her and what motivates them. You will quickly determine if they are sincere in wanting to know you or too good to be true.
