Every year, over 2,000 self-help books are published worldwide on a range of topics. Books offering to help couples through difficult times or make their marriages stronger can be particularly appealing, but are they effective? The American Psychological Association says, “if a particular book has made the top 10 lists, it’s probably got some substance.” Below are the top ten books our relationship experts recommend.
-
Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D.
Divided into three sections, this book covers "The Unconscious Marriage," which details a marriage in which the remaining desires and behavior of childhood interfere with the current relationship; "The Conscious Marriage," which shows a marriage that fulfils those childhood needs in a positive manner; and a 10-week "course in relationship therapy, " which gives detailed exercises for you and your partner to follow in order to learn how to "replace confrontation and criticism … with a healing process of mutual growth and support." The text is occasionally dry and technical; however, the information provided is valuable, the case studies are interesting, and the exercises are revealing and helpful. By utilizing his program, Hendrix hopes you too will be able to solve your marital difficulties without the expense of a therapist. (Product description from Amazon.com).
Buy On Amazon
-
Fighting for Your Marriage: Positive Steps for Preventing Divorce and Preserving a Lasting Love by Howard J. Markman, Scott M. Stanley, Susan L. Blumberg.
"A divorce prevention society should be formed to place a copy of this book in every hotel room in Niagara Falls—scratch that, every hotel room in this country. Every wife or husband struggling to say married, especially happily married, should read this book." – Maggie Gallagher, coauthor, The Case for Marriage: Why Married People are Happier, Healthier & Better Off Financially
Buy On Amazon -
Divorce Busting: A Step-by-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again by Michele Weiner-Davis
Weiner-Davis offers down-to-earth, effective advice to couples working together and to individuals attempting unilaterally to save a troubled marriage. (Product description from Publishers Weekly)
Buy On Amazon
-
Passage to Intimacy : Key Concepts and Skills from the Pairs Program Which Has Helped Thousands of Couples Rekindle Their Love, by Lori H. Gordon and Jon Frandsen This new edition of Passage to Intimacy is published by popular request to add more of the PAIRS powerful concepts and experiences that have been known to dramatically transform relationships. Since the first edition of Passage to Intimacy was published a number of dissertations have been written that have researched and validated the effectiveness and power of this dynamic program. In response, I have written this book to add Jealousy, Emotional Allergy, Healing the Ledger, Clarifying Expectations, and other significant understandings and experiences that when practiced, transform lives. We are all pathfinders today, working our way through uncharted territories as we seek to build and sustain loving co-equal relationships for the first time in human history. In our rapidly changing world, relationships that thrive create in us a sense of security, safety, enhanced health and well being. Most of all, love, joy and pleasure in companionship provide depth and meaning in our lives. We do not have to lose what we work so hard to achieve. We do not have to sabotage our dearest dreams. As human beings, we are all miracles capable of remarkable learning, growth and change. We can understand what went wrong in previous relationships or what is going wrong now. We can make changes if we choose to use what we learn. (Product description from Amazon.com).
Buy On Amazon
-
Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson
Heralded by the New York Times and Time magazine as the couples therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world. In HOLD ME TIGHT, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship—from Recognizing the Demon Dialogue to Revisiting a Rocky Moment—and uses them as touch points for seven healing conversations. Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love. (Product description from Amazon.com).
Buy On Amazon
-
Depression Fallout: The Impact of Depression on Couples and What You Can Do to Preserve the Bond by Anne Sheffield.
What happens to love when a partner is depressed? Is your partner's depression undermining your happiness as a couple? After blaming yourself, losing your self-esteem, and getting angry, you may feel like walking away—even if you're still in love. With 19 million Americans suffering from depression, you are not alone in your unhappiness. And no one knows what you're going through better than Anne Sheffield, who coined the phrase "depression fallout" in her first book, How You Can Survive When They're Depressed, to describe the emotional toll of depression on spouses, parents, lovers, and children. Sharing essential information, compassion, and street-smart advice, Anne Sheffield tells you: What you need to know about your partner's mental health and what to do about it … for your own well-being. What experiences, behaviors, and feelings are "normal" when dealing with a depressive illness. How to overcome your sense of helplessness and take charge of your life. Ways to restore your optimism, peace of mind, and sense of humor. Where to find a community of peers to offer ongoing support. (Product description from Amazon.com).
Buy On Amazon
-
After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful, by Janis Abrahms Spring and Michael Spring.
For the 70 percent of couples who have been affected by extramarital affairs, this is the only book to offer proven strategies for surviving the crisis and rebuilding the relationship—written by a nationally known therapist considered an expert on infidelity. There is nothing quite like the pain and shock caused when a partner has been unfaithful. The hurt partner often experiences a profound loss of self-respect and falls into a depression that can last for years. For the relationship, infidelity is often a death blow. After the Affair is the first book to help readers survive this crisis. Written by a clinical psychologist who has been treating distressed couples for 22 years, it guides both hurt and unfaithful partners through the three stages of healing: normalizing feelings, deciding whether to recommit, and revitalizing the relationship. It provides proven, practical advice to help the couple change their behavior toward each other, cultivate trust and forgiveness, and build a healthier, more conscious intimate partnership. (Product Description from Amazon.com).
Buy On Amazon
-
Marriage On The Rocks: Learning to Live with Yourself and an Alcoholic by Janet G. Woititz.
From the author of the New York Times bestseller Adult Children of Alcoholics—an invaluable guide for women dealing with alcoholic partners. (Product Description from Amazon.com).
Buy On Amazon
-
Money Harmony: Resolving Money Conflicts in Your Life and Your Relationships, by Olivia Mellan.
Psychotherapist Olivia Mellan has seen the relationship problems that money conflicts can cause. As she puts it, "money is never just money." Her experience with couples who clash over finances is laid out in this helpful book, where you'll learn how to identify your own money "style." Since that may differ from your mate's, Mellan offers advice on how to resolve communication problems about handling money, and set financial goals that'll work for both of you. (Product Description from Amazon.com).
Buy On Amazon
-
Loving Solutions by Gary Chapman
“Because it addresses many areas of tough issues couples face and how to deal with them.” – Maida Lasalle, Relationship Coach, youandme.We, Family Resources, Inc., Pinellas Park, FL.
Buy On Amazon