You’ve been waiting your whole life to share the joy and excitement of your first holiday season as a married couple.

You’ve set the lights on the house and filled your home with holiday music and the smell of cookies. Everything is perfect. Now you have to find the perfect gift.

The present must show your sweetheart how thoughtful you are and how much you’ve paid attention to everything that has been said throughout your relationship. It must strike a perfect balance of being touching and memorable without being too expensive and throwing your new marriage into financial troubles.

That’s real pressure.

But it doesn’t have to be that hard.

Talk it out

As with most things in your relationship, communication is the most important step. Be clear about what you want, and find out what your partner expects.

Some couples like to give each other expensive gifts. Others prefer to find something meaningful and inexpensive. Others want to make each other something sentimental. Some forgo formal gifts altogether and choose instead to spend their money and time on movies or games they can do together.

There is no one right or wrong way for every couple to celebrate the holidays. Every marriage is different. Couples can choose their own ways to celebrate.

But you should choose together.

One of the fastest ways to create tension and stress around the holidays is to have differing expectations. If she has her heart set on a special piece of jewelry, and you show up with only a card, you’re likely to spend the holidays on the couch.

If he’s focused on the budget and you drop too much cash on a present, you’re likely to not get the response you anticipated.

Honest discussions are essential in all aspects of your relationship. Holiday gift giving is no different. While you may choose not to discuss specifics of what you will get for each other, make sure you are in agreement on what kind of gifts to get and how much to spend.

Recession minded

Some couples that might otherwise prefer to buy extravagant gifts have found their budgets tightened by the sour economy. In your discussion about holiday gifts, make sure you agree on the budget and how much money is available.

You may find that you are forced to spend less on each other this year.

If that is the case, look for creative ways to show your special someone how you feel without spending too much money. Often, the most meaningful and sentimental gifts are not expensive, but they can take more effort.

Pay attention

Is there some item or idea that was important early on in your dating relationship? Perhaps you could find or recreate it. Or maybe your spouse had a favorite book, movie or stuffed animal growing up that would be an important sentimental gift today.

Another special, inexpensive gift is time together. You may want to rent a movie, play a game together or cook a special meal.

Remember that the holidays are special not because of the gifts you receive, but because you are able to experience it together. Make the most of it.

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