Engaged couples used to have only two options: a wedding or an elopement. Weddings are often stressful, complicated and expensive. But eloping means your friends and family are unable to share in your celebration. Destination weddings provide a welcome third alternative, combining the best aspects of an elopement and a wedding. Here are some tips for coordinating your dream destination wedding…

The Locale

People often associate destination weddings with beaches. But a destination wedding can be anywhere: a mountain top, a theme park, a dude ranch, etc. When choosing a location, consider site accessibility and travel costs, as well as your spouse’s and your own interests/preferences. Also consider the suitability and appeal of the location for your guests. For example, getting married at a couples-only resort can be problematic for any single friends or family members attending. Many resorts and cruise lines offer wedding packages that include a coordinator, an officiant, flowers, cake, etc. Other couples prefer to go off the beaten path and do their own thing. Remember that if the location doesn’t normally host weddings, you’ll need to do a little more work to secure any necessary permits, find an officiant, etc. If you are getting married internationally, you might want to hire a wedding coordinator who specializes in international weddings to help you navigate foreign marriage laws, coordinate vendors, deal with language barriers, etc.

The Guest List

Some couples invite only immediate family or a couple of attendants. Beyond that, finalizing the guest list can be tricky — who makes the cut and who gets left off the list? If the destination is very far away, you might consider inviting a larger group of people. Not everyone will be able to make it, so you’ll likely still have an intimate ceremony. While you’ll offend fewer people, inevitably someone will still get his/her feelings hurt.

No-Shows

Speaking of hurt feelings… You may see your wedding as a partially-subsidized vacation — who wouldn’t want to come!?! But unless you are covering 100% of the expenses, some people may not be able to afford it. Don’t interpret this as a personal rejection. People often hide their true financial position or may have other legitimate constraints — work schedule, lack of child care, etc. — that make it difficult to get away.

Bracing for Tradeoffs

There are a few tradeoffs to prepare for with a destination wedding. First, you likely won’t receive as many presents. This ties to longstanding wedding etiquette — not a lack of love. Second, being so far away, you won’t have as much direct control over the wedding preparation. Ideally, you’ll be able to afford an advance visit to scope out the site and to meet with vendors.

Saving Money?

A destination wedding combines two of the biggest wedding expenses: the ceremony and the honeymoon. So a destination wedding can theoretically save you big money. Keep in mind, though, that one of the other biggest wedding-related expenses is a reception. If you plan on having both a destination wedding and a reception for your other friends when you get back, you may not save much. Alternatively, many destination wedding packages already include a small reception. Or, you may choose to have a simple meal together at a restaurant or a picnic on the beach.

Financial Etiquette

Since destination weddings are relatively new, the etiquette isn’t always clear. Who should pay for what? Generally, the bride or groom pay for the rehearsal dinner (if any), local transportation, a welcome party and at least one group sightseeing activity. It is courteous, but not required, to pay for the lodging of your wedding party/attendants. Many couples also pay for a group brunch the day after the wedding. Guests are usually expected to cover their flights and any meals or activities that are not part of the celebration. The main thing is to clearly communicate to potential travelers what costs they need to cover so they can decide whether they can afford to come.

Taking Care of Your Travelers

Send save-the-date cards months in advance and provide a detailed itinerary as early as possible. With traditional weddings, the couple disappears after the wedding. But it’s harder to shake guests when they have traveled hundreds of miles to be with you. However, they will probably expect some free time to explore the area on their own. Build that into the itinerary and provide information on local attractions. A welcome basket in your guests’ hotel rooms with items relevant to the destination is a nice touch.

The Big Day

One of the best things about a destination wedding is that it can reduce pressure and anxiety. You’re not having a traditional wedding, so you are not bound to the same traditional wedding formalities. If something doesn’t quite go according to plan, roll with it and don’t let it spoil your day. You are surrounded by beautiful scenery and the people you love most in the world — what could be better?