You can't blame new parents for jumping at the chance to stock up, getting everything they think will make their baby's life perfect—crib, stroller, car seat, swing, cutesy pajamas—nine months is a long time to sit idly by and wait. But of all the clever gadgets out there, what your baby really needs is something that does not come from a store at all—parents committed to each other and the well-being of their baby.
Solid Partnership
The most important gift you can give your baby is a strong marriage. Your child will look to you for security and to form their ideas about all types of relationships. So make your marriage a priority, and allow for constant, open communication about issues like expectations, family values, and how you will raise your children. You may not agree on everything, so talk regularly about these things, as your ideas may change over time.
Budget
Babies are cute, cuddly…and expensive. And money can be a difficult thing for couples to talk about. It doesn't matter who makes or spends the money, taking the time to sit down with your spouse and to create a plan for your expenses is a great way to prepare for baby. You may need to cut back on spending in one area to be able to afford diapers, clothes, equipment, baby food, childcare, and savings for college tuition. Discuss what new items you need to purchase and where you can find or borrow gently used products. Making these decisions as a couple before the baby comes can help you manage your finances after the baby arrives.
Workload Strategy
Couples need to discuss how the family workload will be shared once the baby is born. Who will go to work, provide primary care for the children, wash the dishes, and clean the house? It's important to discuss and agree on a plan before the baby arrives. Oftentimes, the division of labor is overlooked, and partners feel resentful of one another because they did not have a frank discussion about who would do what. Having a baby is a very emotionally exhausting experience for a couple. Family members may help out by providing meals or caring for older children at the beginning, but then the couple will need to divide and conquer the household responsibilities. Talking about this early and openly is a great way to prepare for baby.
Prepared Parents
While nothing can fully prepare you for life with baby, talking about your expectations of what life will be like as a new parent can minimize the shock. Talk with other new parents to find out what's in store. Information like, "you won't have as much time as you would like to talk with your spouse," "everything takes longer when there's a baby involved," and "you'll be busy all the time and very little will get done" are good to know and remember.
It's common for moms and dads to worry about how they'll deal with the pressure of raising a baby. Find a time when you are not distracted and just talk about your feelings. Common new dad worries include feeling disconnected from the pregnancy/new baby, having questions they avoid asking for fear of looking silly, and worrying about their upcoming role as provider. New moms may have fears related to physical ability after the birth and worry about being expected to be the expert and not knowing what to do.
Giving birth and raising a baby are wonderful, yet stressful times. Couples who talk about how they feel and how they'll handle the upcoming challenges form a stronger partnership that will make them better partners and parents.
Conclusion
It's important to buy diapers and clothes for your new baby, but don't sacrifice the much-needed time to prepare yourself and your family for the new arrival in favor of endless trips to the store. Instead, spend your precious pre-baby time talking about how your family will function when the baby arrives.
Life & Love
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