For nine months, pregnant women are bathed in attention—both wanted and unwanted. People fret about your health, the health of your baby, and whether that box is too heavy for you. Friends relentlessly inquire about your due date, the gender of your child, and whether you have picked out a name. Your belly is affectionately groped by loved ones and strangers.

Then abruptly, and without warning, all the fascination comes to an end. The paradoxical cause: the arrival of the much-anticipated, much-fussed-over baby. Sure, for a few weeks, you’ll be swarmed by well-wishers. After that, the interest tends to wane … and any attention you do receive tends to be directed towards the baby, not you.

In the weeks following the childbirth, many women find themselves alone in the new world of motherhood, a world simultaneously beautiful, terrifying and exhausting. Here are some tips to help you survive in this strange new reality:

Before the Baby Comes

• Make preparations for you, as well as the baby
  Expecting mothers often fixate on childproofing the house and making the nursery picture-perfect. But women sometimes neglect to make similar preparations for themselves. Stockpile little things that make you feel good and aid in your healing. Essential recovery items: comfy clothes, wet wipes, maxi pads, ultra-soft toilet paper, magazines and breastfeeding cream.
• Define your support network
  Identify prospective babysitters and helpers—whether paid professionals or unpaid friends and family—who you can trust to help out once in a while. Also, look into public support networks—whether community, government or religious in nature. These networks are especially crucial for single mothers.
• Communicate with your partner about post-pregnancy realities
  Women are often startled by some of the physical and psychological changes resulting from childbirth. Men are often even more in the dark about such post-childbirth realities. Be sure your partner understands the physical and sexual constraints introduced by childbirth so he won’t be caught off guard.
• Rest up
  Get as much rest as possible during your pregnancy. You will need all your strength when the baby comes.

After the Baby Comes

• Get advice from other moms—then take it or leave it
  Reaching out to other mothers for advice can provide you with useful tips … and help you feel less alone during a potentially isolating time. Draw from the wisdom of others, but understand that for most parenting questions, there are several acceptable answers. Don’t feel bound to advice that doesn’t seem to work for you or your baby. Listen to your intuition—you know your baby better than anyone.
• Listen to your body
  Is your body screaming for sleep? Find a way, by gosh, to get some. Sleeping while the baby sleeps is a good bet—someone else can do those dishes.
• Take a daily shower
  You’ll feel better and it will give you vital time alone to process through your emotions.
• Understand that it is okay to cry
  Pregnancy releases a flood of hormones; add physical exhaustion and stress and you have a full-blown emotional rollercoaster. Having some negative thoughts about parenthood or even your child is not a sign that you are a bad mother—it just means you are overwhelmed. If your baby is screaming and you can’t deal with it at the moment, walk away for a few minutes. Go to the bathroom and do your own screaming or crying until you are calm enough to tend to your child. If you are consistently depressed or have thoughts of violence towards your baby or yourself, seek immediate help—you may be experiencing post-partum depression.
• Work exercise in … gradually
  Most women struggle with their body image in the months following their pregnancy. Try not to judge your body, but slowly integrating some exercise back into your life can help improve your outlook.
• Ask for help
  This is no time for pride. Take anyone who volunteers up on their offer to help. If you still need more help, just ask. A simple request for help on Facebook can result in a surge of support. Remind your baby-phobic friends that they can help without having to babysit. They can do dishes, wash laundry, take out the garbage, make a meal or run an errand for you.
• Make time for you and your partner
  Women often make the mistake of putting their child above every other person, including their significant other. A stable, two-parent home is one of the best gifts you can give your child, so remember to invest some of your energy in that relationship. This includes making time for your sex life, to the extent that your physical condition allows.
• Enjoy this time
  Yes, being a new mother is overwhelming. The days may seem incredibly long; the nights incredibly short. But in retrospect, you may find that the time with your baby flew by. These moments are precious, if exhausting—soak up all the good moments and treasure this time with your child.