Am I Really Ready for This? Pre-Wedding JittersMany people experience uncertainty about making the commitment to a life-long marriage. After all, marriage is a serious decision. Once you are officially engaged, it may seem even more overwhelming as marriage becomes imminent. During the romantic dating phase of a relationship, it’s easy to just focus on all of the great things about your partner while minimizing his/her faults. But once faced with the commitment of marriage, you may start to dwell on your partner’s imperfections and differences and wonder – is this person really the one for me? The following tips will help you navigate through your feelings and relieve some of your pre-wedding jitters.

Remember that no one is perfect. Everyone has faults; nobody is perfect. And because of imperfections and the differences that exist between the two of you, arguments are bound to happen at times. Your happiness doesn’t depend on your ability to find the “perfect” mate. It depends on you being the ‘right’ mate and bringing your best to the table. It takes work to keep a relationship successful and long-lasting. If you and your partner are willing to work through issues by practicing good communication skills, you will be off to a great start in your marriage.

Take it one day at a time. Avoid getting overwhelmed with thoughts about the next phase of your life. Just because you are getting married doesn’t necessarily mean that other major life decisions such as buying a house or having children are in your immediate future. Every couple is different and relationships progress at different paces. You and your partner can have conversations about some of these other decisions when it makes sense for both of you.

Talk with your partner. Even though it may be uncomfortable, discuss your feelings of uncertainty. It may not be easy to share, but if the relationship is healthy, you will feel safe bringing up anxiety-provoking issues. You may even find out that your partner understands your feelings and he/she has some insecurities to share as well!

Celebrate your differences. Differences between two individuals in a relationship are completely normal and should be expected. In fact, these differences may contribute to making the two of you such a great match. Just because you have different interests, personalities, or communication styles does not mean you are incompatible. Focus on all the things that you and your partner bring to the relationship that, when combined and valued, make the relationship stronger.

Do some soul searching. Despite how close to the wedding date it is, take some time to step back and evaluate whether or not you are ready to proceed with marriage. Your concerns may be typical pre-wedding jitters, or they may be something more serious and possibly even a deal-breaker for you in the relationship. It is up to you to make this distinction. Don’t hesitate to postpone the wedding, put a hold on the relationship, and/or seek counseling or a relationship education class if the relationship simply does not feel right.

It is normal to feel overwhelmed with the idea of spending the rest of your life with the same person and making marriage work – it’s a big decision and a lot of work! But by taking a look at the issues that are causing your anxiety and communicating about these issues with your partner, you will be better able to determine if they are simply butterflies or something more serious to be examined.