Although it is frowned on by most employers, office romances are commonplace. Because most people spend the majority of their time at work, a large portion of our social encounters—lunch, happy hour, etc.—involves our co-workers.

According to a survey by CareerBuilder.com, nearly 38 percent of U.S. workers have dated co-workers; of those, 31 percent have gotten married to the co-worker. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean an office relationship is always the smart thing to do. At best, office romances are tricky; at worst, you may lose both the relationship and your job.

Many experts (especially human resources managers and employment attorneys) think a workplace relationship is a “lose-lose” situation.  But if you’re still thinking about firing up something with the cute guy (or woman) in Advertising, take some advice from the pros:

Don’t date the boss

“Not all office romances are created equal,” said Lisa Mainiero, author of Office Romance: Love, Power and Sex in the Workplace. “The best office-dating scenario is when peers from different departments date.”  Mainiero’s research shows that co-workers generally accept peer-to-peer relationships within departments; however, 55 percent of employers and employees polled by Vault.com believe it’s unacceptable for a manager to date a subordinate. Mainiero lays out some ramifications to consider:

• Your colleagues may turn on you. You may be an excellent employee, but as soon as you start dating the boss, your co-workers may attribute your career advances as being tied to the relationship. A promotion, a corner office or any other perks may appear to be the result of favoritism rather than your hard work.
• You could jeopardize your career. If you break up, think about how your career could be affected. If your ex becomes embittered, he or she could find endless ways to make the workplace miserable for you and even jeopardize your career. It’s probably best to determine if you’re willing to leave your job for this person before you even decide to get involved.
• A note to bosses:  A relationship with someone you supervise, while tempting, can easily undermine your credibility. If things go wrong, the situation could lead to charges of sexual harassment.  Be very careful how you proceed.

Above all else, be professional

When at the office, always act professional with one another, even if you think you’re alone. Keeping the fact that you’re dating quiet for the first month or so can give the relationship a chance to develop (or for you to save face, in case it fizzles). But be aware that failure to disclose an office relationship can have serious employment consequences—review your HR manual carefully.

Couples working together should avoid public displays of affection. Also, watch your e-mail content. Many companies prohibit the use of company e-mail systems for personal purposes; others reserve the right to access or disclose electronic messages or files of an employee. So it’s best to limit your office communications to work-related topics.

And lastly, don’t bring arguments to the office. Conflicts with anyone at the workplace are difficult, but the heightened emotions of a personal relationship can cause serious career damage.

Experts agree the most important thing for both parties in the relationship is to do your job effectively. You cannot allow the relationship to compromise your work ethic.

Five ways to mix work and romance

1. Date someone you already have a relationship with. Joni Johnston, CEO of WorkRelationships.com says, “You’ll have some form of trust if you have a working relationship before you date … you should take things slow until you determine whether you both have the emotional maturity to handle a workplace relationship.”
2. Be honest. Dennis Powers, author of The Office Romance:  Playing With Fire and Not Getting Burned, says, “When dating at work you need to have similar expectations about where the relationship is going and communicate them to one another from the start. If one party wants a long-term relationship, and the other one is looking for a fling, that relationship will have problems.”
3. Set boundaries. If you decide to date someone at work, have a conversation about how to handle the situation. Are you going to tell anyone?  Will you talk about personal matters at work or work issues on a date?  It’s not romantic, but it will help keep your professional and love life on track.
4. Maintain relationships outside of work. Keep your other interests alive. If the relationship goes sour, you’ll be glad to have friends and support systems independent of the workplace.
5. Break up gently. We all know that most dating relationships come to an end. According to Powers, couples who work together should discuss how to handle a break up from the very beginning. If given the choice, break up on a Friday; don’t wait until Monday.

Office relationship are difficult to manage, but are sometimes worth the effort. Proceeding slowly and carefully can help protect both the relationship and your professional reputation.