Meeting the ParentsMeeting your partner's family is a big event! This is often an important step in your relationship. Chances are his/her family is excited to meet you. With some thoughtful planning and graciousness, you are sure to leave a good first impression.

Remember, not all families are the same – some individuals are raised by a single parent, both parents (jointly or separately), grandparents, adoptive parents, or may have other family arrangements. Additionally, you and your partner may have differing expectations about meeting each other’s families. For example, you may place more emphasis and value on meeting family than your partner does (or vice versa). It is important that you and your partner communicate your expectations before planning to meet the family.

10 Tips for Making a Good Impression

  1. Don’t rush it.
    Avoid pressuring your partner to introduce you to his/her family before he/she is ready. Not only might this cause your partner undue stress, it may be difficult for his/her family to take you seriously if you’ve only been on a couple of dates. Wait for a time that is comfortable for you and your partner before meeting the family.
     
  2. Get the skinny before you meet.
    Find out all about your partner’s family dynamics and structure. Are his/her parents divorced? Does he/she come from a blended family? Have your partner tell you some interesting family facts to give you something to build conversation from when you do meet. Having a bit of background helps you avoid uncomfortable topics and shows the family that you are interested in getting to know them.
     
  3. Dress to impress.
    Be mindful of your attire and make sure it fits the setting and/or activity of your first meeting. You should look presentable and well-groomed in order to leave a good first impression with his/her family. If in doubt, ask your partner what is appropriate – after all, he/she knows them best!
     
  4. Be on time.
    You should treat a first meeting with your partner’s family with the same level of respect as a first date. Being punctual shows that you are responsible and respectful. If you find yourself running late, be sure to call to notify his/her family – offering your apologies and your estimated time of arrival.
     
  5. Give a small gift (if you desire).
    Giving a gift can show parents that you are serious and want to leave a good impression, but gifts are by no means required. Ask your partner what is appropriate. For example, bringing a bottle of wine or a side dish to a family dinner might just do the trick.
     
  6. Offer genuine compliments.
    A little flattery goes a long way, but there’s no need to overdo it. Offer praise and compliments for things you actually like. Let them know you appreciate the chance to meet them and thank them for having you over (if you are meeting at their home). Also, it doesn’t hurt to offer compliments to your partner or to speak highly of him/her.
     
  7. Keep your opinions in check.
    While your opinions on religious, political and other issues matter, it may be wise to hold off on getting too involved in those discussions until his/her family gets to know you better. You never know who you may put off by voicing your controversial views. Be yourself, but show respect by staying politely quiet and not picking sides if a family argument or debate ensues.
     
  8. Be prepared for the tough questions…
    You may be confronted with questions that require you to justify and explain your intentions, commitment level, career stability and/or your future together. This is likely a way for your partner’s family to feel you out and get to know you, more so than a formal interrogation. If you feel uncomfortable answering particular questions, you can always lean on your partner to help answer them or say that it is something you are both talking about and you may have a better idea at a later date.
     
  9. Pay attention to your partner.
    Don’t get so consumed with trying to impress that you forget who you’re there for in the first place! Treat your partner as if you’re on a date and act accordingly. After all, his/her parents and siblings probably want to see how you two interact with one another. Avoid embarrassing your partner in front of his/her family by asking to see baby pictures or asking to hear (or telling) embarrassing stories.
     
  10. Don’t stress it. Your partner is with you for a reason, so there’s no reason to believe that his/her family won’t feel the same way. While it is important to show your best self, never try to be someone you are not in pursuit of approval. Show his/her family why you are wonderful by being yourself, and have some fun!